Thursday, February 07, 2008

Hurts


The office and nursing/mini-hospital continue strong as organizing is done and boxes fall into place.

Sometimes I wonder how much my heart can be broken, when the realities will stop, when I won't hurt because of what these kids come from. One of the kids came in the other day because he was dizzy and tired and light-headed. We talked about the things that he eats. He doesn't eat when he's not at school, if he does it is very little. His head hurts because of this. My heart hurts because of this.

How can I make this better? Am I helping? Am I doing anything here? When will it ever end? Why do they grow up like this when I got to grow up like I did? So I wrap my arms around him, love him, and look forward to seeing him at school each day when I know his tummy will be filled. Then I step back from it all and try to take it all in. It is too much to take in sometimes, when the daily realities sometimes just become normal, when it doesn't shock me as much as it ought to.

I know that we are making a difference, I see it in their smiles, in their lives. Sometimes I'd just rather forget though about poverty, hunger, pain...especially when it is in regards to our kids.

2 comments:

Allison Berthel said...

jessi...i don't really know what to say, except that God has chosen to use you in their lives. and there are so many people who are glad because of that. i'm gonna guess the kids are some of them.

just be encouraged; you're doing what needs to be done. more than that, is up to God.

cali gibbs said...

It makes me so sad to hear about children struggling just to have enough to eat. It makes the trials of my own life seem small and insignificant. What a wonderful blessing you are in the lives of so many!